Porpoise Parody - "Hey Mr Dan Marino"

UPDATE (09Jan2022): Incredibly, after I posted this writeup and parody song, Miami won 8 of their last 9 games of the 2021 NFL season.  Maybe it's time to write a song for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

I love college football.  NFL?  Not so much.  But if I was a pro football fan, I'd probably have to go with the Miami Dolphins.

We lived in Miami Beach for four years when I was in elementary school.  In those days, the mid to late 1960s, Miami was WAY different than it is now.  Scarface wasn't Al Pacino.  He was Al Capone, who, though long gone by then, had left a house that still stood, down the street from us on a little island in Biscayne Bay.  Waterfront property was dirt cheap back then, and it seemed like everyone had a dock and spent their summers fishing, skiing, and swimming.

Life in '60s-era Miami was like a real-life episode of "Flipper", the TV porpoise who had a knack for getting into trouble.  The series was actually airing at that very same time.  I was almost the same age as one of the human characters.  We had a little boat, and we ate so much fish I should have sprouted gills.

Coincidentally, Miami had just landed a brand new NFL franchise, the Dolphins, with high hopes and a cool logo, though I've always wondered how a whale could breathe with a helmet over his blowhole.

The team wasn't very good at first.  But after we moved away from Miami, the Dolphins got a lot better at playing football.  In 1972 they went the distance undefeated; a win/loss record that has never been matched.  In the 80s and 90s, after some ups and downs, the Fins were back again, and QB Dan Marino was the man; he broke all kinds of records. The city of Miami had a big resurgence too, and people went nuts over Miami Vice, Scarface, Art Deco buildings and pastel paint.

All that stuff seems distant; almost quaint now.  No more Flipper.  No more Scarface (either version).  No more T-shirts with Armani suits.  But, in a throwback to the late 60s,  the Miami Dolphins are struggling again this year.  Currently, they are 3 and 7, and their playoff hopes are tanking faster than Don Johnson's music career did.

So, out of sympathy, I've written a parody song for the team, asking their 60 year old hero Dan Marino to somehow magically help them recapture some of their marine-mammal mojo.

If they start winning, you can thank me!


Hey Mr Dan Marino

(Sung to the melody of "Mr Tambourine Man")

Lyrics - John Nugent


Hey Mr Dan Marino 
Play some downs for me 
We're not winning and 
It don't look like we're going to 
Hey Mr Dan Marino 
Throw it long for me 
It's the two-minute warnin' 
And we're countin' on you 

Miami lost another one 
Worst I've ever seen 
Might go 0 and 17 
Wish I had a time machine 
Take me on a trip 
...Back to 1972 

And I know it's been a long time 
Since you played on my TV 
No more highlight reels to see 
No more Fox or NBC,
Or Even ESPN 3 
Now it's just AARP 
Cuz you blew out both your knees 
I promise I'll still root for you 

Hey Mr Dan Marino 
Play some downs for me 
We're not winning and 
It don't look like we're going to 
Hey Mr Dan Marino 
Throw it long for me
Cuz it's 4th down and forever 
And we're on our own 2