Jingle Bell Schlock

I'm not crazy about sad Christmas songs. In fact, you're never gonna hear “I'll Be Home For Christmas” or “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” around here unless I forgot to hit the thumbs down button on Pandora.

It's not that this isn't great music; it is. But some holiday tunes just have a way of bumming me out. And the older I get, they more that seems to be the case. Nope, I'll take Rudolph, Frosty, ringle-tingle and holly jolly any day. That's just me, though. Maybe you like heartwarming, nostalgic, even melancholy holiday songs.

Even so, some of the songwriters definitely got a little too carried away the HoHoHomesick theme. But if, for some inexplicable reason it's serious cry-in-your-eggnog Xmas action you're after, then try some of these heavyweights: Dolly Parton's “Hard Candy Christmas”. Or maybe “Christmas Shoes” by NewSong. Not sad enough? Then there's always John Denver's “Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas”.

And then there's the list of songs that aren't necessarily sad; they're just plain bad. Everone seems to have their own list of Christmas throwaways, so don't hold it against me if your list differs from mine. But I'll bet there's at least a few crossovers! Here's my bottom ten:


We Need A Little Christmas (Angela Lansbury)

Wonderful Christmastime (Paul McCartney)

Last Christmas (Wham)

I want A Hippopotamus For Christmas (Gayla Peavy)

You're A Mean One, Mr Grinch (Thurl Ravenscroft)

Baby It's Cold Outside (Frank Loesser and Lynn Garland)

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (Elmo and Patsy)

Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt)

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth (The Satisfiers)

Christmas Don't Be Late (Alvin and The Chipmunks)


Happy Holidays!